shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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