Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
