i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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