its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
