if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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