Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
