i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
