I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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