He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
