Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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