We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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