Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.

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(727): View more from Florida

she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein

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(816): View more from Missouri

you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people

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(516): View more from New York

I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye

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(909): View more from California

Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.

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(281): View more from Texas

Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.

(1-281): View more from Texas

Umm okay. What are they doing?

(281): View more from Texas

They’re in the hot tub

(1-281): View more from Texas

Can I get divorced when I grow up?

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