And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
