Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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