I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
