Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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