I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
