Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
