you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
