That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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