I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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