I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
