I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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