3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
