Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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