you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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