Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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