Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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