If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
