Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
