Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?

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(716): View more from New York

i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...

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(435): View more from Utah

I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She's allergic to latex.

(678): View more from Georgia

Lucky bastard.

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(586): View more from Michigan

You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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(310): View more from California

i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20

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(860): View more from Connecticut

For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week

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(276): View more from Virginia

Are these your boobs on my camera?

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