im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So much rum. So many feels.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
