ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Girls should come with a carfax report
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize