The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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