I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
