And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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