dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
