you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
