I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
