Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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