they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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