You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
