foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
