ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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