I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
