i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
