I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
A+ Viking dick
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
