oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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