smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
