Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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