We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
