you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
