I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
