Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
