i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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