Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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