escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just invented taco cereal.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
