If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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